7 Things That Make Ted an Awesome Man

Theodore Evelyn Mosby.
You might have come across many posts about this guy probably always written by women about why they “luuurrveeee Teddy!” But this is something largely different because in the shoes of a bro, I see Ted more as a man from whom we can learn rather just a protagonist of two cute love stories.

1. There are many reasons why I think Ted is awesome and the first of them is, in spite of staying in the Godly presence of one Mr. Barney Stinson, he still chooses to stay Ted. Men generally admire and envy a guy when he chooses sex over love and indeed keeps ‘banging chicks’ at the top of his priority list. Such a guy is immediately imitated and followed by other bros. However,  Ted doesn’t give two fucks about how uncool he would look if he doesn’t do all the cool things that Barney does. He stays who he is and I don’t think there can be anything any more manly than staying who you are.
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2. What I like more about this fine man is that although he knows that he is being vulnerable while telling every girl he meets that he loves her, he still says it. Out. Loud. Some might call it stupid but I will choose the word ‘brave’ to describe this behavior because putting your heart out like that to every girl just to check if she is the one which may go awfully wrong,  is indeed brave. And brave is man-ly.
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3. Ted is an architect. It won’t have made him any less significant to me even if he was a plumber, a pizza delivery guy or a gym instructor. What matters is that he does some real work to earn his living unlike Barney who has enough money to spend on hoes even after buying tens of thousands of suits but probably has some shady career. For a man, working to feed himself and his family is one of the most prestigious things and Ted Mosby does the same exact thing.
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4. Ted sure is looking for love and it breaks his heart every time he realizes that this girl isn’t the one. But he isn’t the mushy, pessimistic,  love-lorn guy who has age-old concepts about love. While he is looking for love,  he keeps scoring chicks. Hands down the manliest thing all bros would agree with.
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5. Even after getting left at the altar like that fool, Ted still presses on to find someone whom he can fall in love with and marry. It’s just one perfect metaphor of how should even the worst of embarrassments and stumbling blocks not stop you from looking for what you have been looking for. It’s an essential attribute a man should posses. Its endurance.
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6. When Ted decides that he wants to marry Tracy after all, he begins to worry. Remember how he sits with the gang at McLaren’s and says that he cannot buy the next round because he is saving for his wedding in France? Of course France doesn’t happen. However it is really sensible how he realizes that since he has someone to look after now,  he can’t pretend to be a carefree, single bloke anymore and he saves money and keeps worrying about it which is how a man who is about to start a family should behave.
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7. Theodore Evelyn Mosby restores our faith in staying with our quirks, in being original,  even if it means asking out someone in a dramatic way with a blue french horn twice because instead of trying to be someone you aren’t to impress her, is better to stay whoever the fuck you are and let the right woman come by and enjoy your weirdness.
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7 Things About an Average Single Guy You Didn’t Know and You Probably Shouldn’t

I am single. I know it cannot really be called a statement that can create waves of shocks among my friends or waves of wild ecstasy among young women with nice titties because one, I am single since more than a year now and everyone kind of knows it and two, I am not Harry Styles respectively. But since my intention behind scribbling those words wasn’t creating any of the mentioned waves (though I would only be happy with any kind of tits including the broad ones because I am single), and since I have made you wait long enough to get pissed and wonder what the fuck is then this article about,  let me tell you what it is about. Its a very honest listicle of the problems and mercilessly embarrassing situations a desperate average single guy goes through while looking for potential girlfriends in your modern times of Insta-look-at-that-ass-gram and Snap-look-at-these-boobs-but-you-aren’t-getting-them-so-just-jerk-off-Chat.
If you’re a single guy, see if you can relate to this and if you’re a girl, please have some mercy for that guy who has been trying real hard for you.

1. You have mastered the art of being a social creep by staring at girls in your college or in the queue for a bus in a weird fashion wherein you’re always only looking at the curves and won’t take your eyes off the butt even if the butt owner looks at you in a very uneasy manner.

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2. You have mastered the art of being a virtual social creep too. You use facebook as if it is tinder and won’t miss one chance to comment something on any girl’s photo that can be anything ranging from mildly creepy to desperate as fuck.

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3. You have also, however, mastered the art of using some really effective pick up lines and you also manage to impress some girls with it which gives you momentary pangs of wild ecstasy that fade away quickly when the girl talks about how she has ‘this amazing boyfriend’.

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4. You try talking to all of your ex girlfriends to sniff opportunities wherein they can get emotional with all the mushy talk about the past and in one moment of passionate emotion, be yours again. But that doesn’t happen because she ends the conversation there.

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5. You have to masturbate minimum thrice a day if you want to stay alive and keep using the internet simultaneously.

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6. You have realised that all you basically want is sex. But paying for it in a brothel is too shameful for your manhood because it would mean you can’t charm even one woman. Also, amongst such insignificant things, you’re also a glorious broke.

7. You actually write a facebook status or an article like this about your singledom and wait in stupid hopes that some girl would text you an “awww you poor thing!” which would then also open her bedroom door for you later. But dude, not happening.

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So what is the solution?  In my expert advise, I believe the solution for a desperate single bastard like you is http://www.m.xhamster.com . Happy fapping to “Friend’s mom getting jizz on her face in the kitchen” or similar stuff.

10 Things That Can Distinguish You As an Ex-RSEMSite

(This is something I wrote for my school buddies. )

1. You believed that the basketball court was actually a football ground-cum-parking lot-cum-cafeteria-cum all the things in the world except the basketball court.

2. Regardless of whether you wanted it or not, you have spent at least three of your annual trips at Suman Motels. And you enjoyed them. Period.

3. You have celebrated all the Independence Days and Republic Days in school watching the judo players jump in and out of rings of fire. Apparently, you were never, never impressed.

4. The only thing you dreaded more than whatever you dreaded the most was Seema Panjabi teacher’s slap. (I believe I hold the record for the most of them.)

5. You spent most of your scout and NCC periods doing anything and everything but scout and NCC.

6. In spite of getting repeated punishments for not speaking in English, you never spoke English. That was just not on.

7. You wore blue uniforms and thought you looked cool. Well, you did.

8. You were at least once in your whole term of school years, pestered to play volley ball by Kawane Sir. No other sport mattered much.

9. You never thought that the school would throw you an extravagant, sumptuous meal. Looks like you made an error of judgement.

10. You can relate with all these things and you want them backbut growing up is a bad job and you have done it. You can only go down the memory lane and cherish.