This is a letter my friend wrote to his girlfriend after they broke up their relationship of 4 years. He never posted it though and I found it a couple of weeks ago while looking up for some stuff in his closet. It amuses me to see how much he has had on his mind and I think this should reach out to her and to everyone out there because it is legit honest.
I don’t usually write letters like these, that is the personal ones. In fact I rarely write letters and when I do, they’re always official and have got something to do with my college. And yet I am writing this personal letter to you for reasons that I would disclose as I proceed.
In the very behinning, I must admit that I have not been nice to you even as a basic human being in the past couple of years. I feel sorry for it but I wouldn’t go in the details of how I cultivated this particular impolite behavior particularly towards you because it would be time consuming and is very likely to distract me from what I want to say. I have been rude, impolite and unjust to you. And yet, in all my certainty I can tell you that in my heart, I have always just loved you very dearly. I could have told you this over the phone but it sounds very different how I sound when I am talking on the phone than when I am writing because when I write in solitude, I am more honest to myself than ever. You can therefore be very sure about and rely on the fact that whatever I am saying through this letter comes from my most natural instincts and feelings. Its very disturbing, almost distressing to retrospect on us and see what a swine of a person I have been. It isn’t the first time I have realized it, because fact is, this dawned upon me a long time ago and now I might sound terrible, but every time I tried changing myself for better, the rude, disrespectful behavior sprang back with a greater magnitude. Of course you saw it. You faced it. And I never thought it was a problem because I saw that you used to laugh it off. Of course you had your reasons and if one of those was to put me in a delusion that you were enjoying it, I think you hit the mark. So I never cared, so I only kept hurting you and so, many things went astray. But I am not here to regret about what happened instead of what should have happened.
And in fact, what really happened? You changed. Not in an undesirable manner of course. You changed as easily and as naturally as the weather does in June. I am not being poetic here lest you would have reasons to believe so, all I am saying is you changed as naturally as people do over a matter of time. As a result, you grew weary of my disgraceful behavior and I don’t see why won’t have anyone grown weary of such an abusive boyfriend earlier, maybe you had, but this time you said it and that made the difference. You said, “I don’t require you to insult me every moment of my life.” And thar struck me like an arrow. Apart from your remark that you didn’t require me which was already too bad to handle for me as a boyfriend what equally hurt me was the fact that you were finally tired of me which meant I had pushed you to your limits and I felt sorry for you. Of course the ego that resides within me like a giant kept me from telling you what I wanted to, and after a few days of being careless about the break up, I finally decided that I have to tell you everything I feel about us – through a letter.
And that thought has brought me this far to be able to tell you that I have accepted the fact that you have changed, you have grown mature and that I haven’t. I can’t force the change in me but I am trying real hard. In the mean time, I want you to know that our relationship hasn’t completely fallen apart. It won’t. It just needs a very little amount of time, the amount of time that we would need to figure out ways to get compatible again. But until then, I believe the best thing to do would be to cause as little menace as we can to each other lest we end up in ruins.
But all this can take any segment of time from this point to any other in the future and by then, you’ll already probably be in Canada, studying and graduating in some university, far away from the dimly lit, badly maintained and yet comfortable Park where we have been on dates, and have fought and made up equally innumerable times. That you’ll be in Canada makes me a tad insecure and knowing how much you love me, I reckon it would do the same to you but that won’t stand us a barrier from getting together again. Because tomorrow, I will stretch my arms farther, and in the process as I go on to become your man from your guy, I will reach out to you before you reach out to me. And that’s not because of the ego inside me. That’s just the love I have towards you speaking.
In all honesty,
I am not a fan of love letters, but this is a real deal. Hope these guys get what they want. Cheers.