I have a friend who has a ‘if-no-sex-then-breakup’ policy. All his relationships begin on the basis of wanting to have sex and end because the girl refuses. I had been wondering about this since a long time. Why does a girl who can make out with a guy in the pre-relationship stage, gets scared to get laid even when she is in a relationship?
Then one girlfriend of this very friend told him that he can have sex with her and do whatever he wants to do with her if he promises her commitment and a serious relationship. Of course he immediately broke up with her. The story ended, but it gave me the first word of my question’s answer. “Commitment”. So what was this about? Why would a girl want commitment to have sex? I mean in the age of condoms and contraceptive pills, no girl would get pregnant if proper precautions are taken, then why does she want him forever when he wants her just for-bed? Of course women have urges to have sex, and some times these are stronger that those in men. So why does she just not go for it?
Was it about virginity? Didn’t look like that, she was ready to blow off her virginity in return of just one promise. Then what was it about? After pondering over this for a long time, I realised that I might as well be thinking like my friend does, because we are men and men think alike. Then I decided to do a little research about how women look at sex and what makes them go for it. Of course I am friends with a lot of people who are content with their sex lives in their relationships. Looking at them, I could see that most of these relationships were pretty serious business. Like the guys were totally in love with their girls. It was more amusing to see that girls who were in a committed relationship and broke up due to some reasons later never threw tantrums or complained anything about their ex-boyfriends having sex with them. After this, the answer to my question was very clear.
It is the age-old answer, one word that men dread and women find beautiful: love. Love is what women want and sex comes as a part of it. Whereas in case of men, it is completely different. Sex and love are two distinct things for men. There is a very common and popular thing that men practice to find out their true ‘love’. Basically after ejaculation, the man always wants to run away from the woman. He finds her irritating. And it is the same while masturbating. Based on some true experiences of people I might not name, I can tell you that once a man masturbates fantasizing a particular woman, he finds her repelling and irritating the moment he ejaculates. So to find out ‘love’, what a man does is masturbates fantasizing a woman he likes and if he still likes her the same after ejaculation, she’s the one he can marry without a second thought! Okay, so back to where we were, sex and love are two entirely different things for men. A man can get laid with a heap of prostitutes and can still love a woman with all his heart. Of course women will find this thought hard to digest because they cannot even imagine love and sex very distinctly. Have you noticed that a lot of rom-com movies use the word ‘making love’ to describe sex, whereas in movies that are about action, men and their businesses, sex is described as sex. Now we all know that women watch more rom-com than men and men watch more action than women. The words make sense now don’t they?
And that is why women talk about commitment and relationships. Sex is a way of expressing love for them. Finding a woman with thoughts different than this is tough, but yes of course there are exceptions wherever you go. But on a general scale, what I see is the way to a woman’s bed is through her heart. Also because of these reasons, women can never have affairs outside their relationship just for sex like men can. So when a woman has an unknown illegitimate affair, it’s her feelings that are involved. And that’s why women’s affairs break more marriages that those of men.
It’s not that I have told you a great secret of women or something. So to the ladies, you don’t have to get furious that my article might get you laid under false impressions of love. Playboys have been doing that for ages. I’m just putting it together with some logic. And to my fellow men, it’s time we stop chasing sex and began chasing love, and eventually, ‘make love’. 😉