It’s been over a month since I have been waiting patiently for the muse to strike and help me write like D. H. Lawrence. But yesterday when I saw that my beard has grown to a size almost equal to his but the words aren’t coming, I knew that the muse must be after all like my ex girlfriend who dumped me for another guy. So I have decided to get over the whole concept of letting the muse strike because if I wait any longer, I’ll be a reluctant bastard.
So in this post, while expounding my writing style, I will tell you how I feel with my whole disappointment of anticipation so that you’ll know that writing isn’t as easy as fist fucking a goat.
I found this when I googled for 'man with a goat.' God rewards our search with better results sometimes. 
I am still clueless about how good will be the outcome of this because I have no idea about what am I going to write which in turn is because the sabbatical didn’t turn out as good as I had anticipated it to be and I ended up with the writer’s block instead of some good ideas. I don’t know how much you followed of what I just said so here:
Have you ever begun watching porn to fap (masturbation. I saved your troubles of looking for it in the urban dictionary because it kills the tempo of the post. But what the fuck, this explanation anyway did that). So yeah back to the point, have you ever began watching porn to fap and held back your ejaculation for your favorite moment? (Sub question: what is your favorite moment? Mine is when the guy does the girl from behind her and holds her boobs but I’ll tell you about it later). Since I cannot hear you now sitting in this chair, I’ll take your silence as a yes to the basic question. You have done that far many times. But many more times than that, it happens that your favorite moment doesn’t look as good as you have anticipated it (in my case the guy holds the girl’s arms instead of her boobs) and then you have to fap regardless of the uninteresting thing you’re looking at on the screen (arms). If, at any point in your boring life you have been through this and I’m sure you have, you can look at me now and say, “I can understand you bro.” Because that is exactly the disappointment of anticipation I’m talking about.
I know it’s downright stupid to compare writing to fapping but I do both things passionately, the latter is circumstantial – I don’t have a girlfriend who would let me drill her like I’m America and she’s Iraq. Looks like this post is getting too much sexual and therefore terrible. All I basically wanted to tell you was that I’m back and since you know that now, let me go to cum again (pun intended).
As You Like It 